New Year, New Challenges
A few weeks ago, we celebrated another trip around the sun (woohoo!). For some, this occasion holds little significance, while for others, it provides an opportunity to be determined and pursue long-desired changes in their lives. Sadly, many who commit to change on January 1st often fail to follow through. Our fixation on change at the start of the year can lead to anxiety and, eventually, resentment towards ourselves. Is this truly how we want to welcome the new year? Certainly not.
However, completely abandoning the idea of change and the challenges it brings may not be healthy either. My recommendation is to find meaning in the mistakes and lapses we encounter during this journey. When considering what changes to pursue, reflect on these questions: What motivates me to make this change? What can I realistically expect from myself throughout this process? What benefits will I gain from this adjustment?
Motivation:
When our motivation comes from external sources—such as a friend seeking a marathon training buddy—lacking intrinsic motivation can make it much harder to commit during difficult moments. These goals may be good, but we may not feel they are worth the discomfort if we don't take possession of them.
Expectation:
Focus on the process instead of fixating solely on the end result. While the goal can evoke positive emotions, we often overlook the journey, reverting to our comfort zones when facing challenges. Picture yourself confronting these obstacles and acknowledging the specific difficulties you find challenging. Develop strategies to help you progress through each hurdle.
Benefit:
The value you gain from this transformation must outweigh the comfort of your current situation. Although this may seem obvious, the allure of comfort should not be underestimated. It plays a crucial role when faced with the choice of changing your ways or sticking with what feels familiar.
As we implement these changes, it's normal to stumble. This is the time to find meaning in our inconsistencies and gain insights about ourselves. Keep in mind that our goal isn’t to achieve flawless change (if that’s the case, talk to your therapist about SMART goals!), but to bring something new and meaningful into our lives. Indeed, we have already made progress in this direction, so take pride in that!
When we pause or revert to old habits, it's important to acknowledge the barrier and reflect on its impact. Instead of seeing these moments as obstacles halting our progress, view them as learning opportunities. Change is a natural phenomenon that will occur whether we want it to or not. Go with the ebb and flow as it takes you on a journey that is sure to present surprises that may be challenging but also rewarding.
If the change bug didn’t bite you this New Year’s, don’t worry; you can choose to change or accept change at any time throughout the year if you remain open to new ways of experiencing life.
